Mealworms in the Gravy (Thanksgiving)

from by The Hopper Brothers

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Based on a true story.


Thursday evening, late November,
The family is all gathered round.
The children sing, it’s such a happy sound.
That turkey must weigh over thirty pounds.

This Thanksgiving, we’ll remember
The people and the loved ones that we know,
The blessings that the good Lord has bestowed.
Something wiggled in the gravy boat.

Mealworms in the gravy.
Massengill in the wine.
I just bit down on a hypodermic needle.
I’m reasonably sure it’s not mine.

The ones we hold so nearly and dearly
Praise us in a manner most sincerely.
Suddenly my stomach’s feeling queerly.
There’s an ear floating in my beerly.

Mealworms in the gravy.
Puss in the potatoes
A band-aid for some texture.
<Benny gags>

Mealworms bring real germs.
We’ll feel burned and we’ll squirm.
Jules Verne’ll drink eel sperm
When we’ll learn of mealworms.

The cranberry sauce infused with swine flu.
My Grammy said she’s trying something new.
She served us up her diaper fondue
With all the hair from the neighborhood Jew.

Nestled deep in the stuffing
Lurks an unidentified thing.
Don’t tell me that it is nothing.
It looks like a tampon string.

We’ve got meal worms in the gravy.
Rat turds on the pie.
The turkey smells like the North Jersey coastline.
Pass me a leg and a thigh.


from The Hoppers' Holiday Classics, released April 28, 2013
Benny Hopper: lead vocals
Martin Hopper: harmonium
Kurt the Sock: bass
Benevenstanciano: drums
Skeets La Fleur: piano
Beyonce Knowles (not the mother of Blue Ivy): strings



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The Hopper Brothers Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Hey, folks!We're Benny & Martin Hopper, The Hopper Brothers: Family Friendly Fun for Fun With Your Family and Friends! We grew up in Glenside, PA under the watchful glass-eye of our Grandma. We like music, birds, bums and little wooden models that you glue together. Once Benny swallowed a quarter. Also, Martin started a Fish Hospital (a hospital for fish), but no fish sought treatment. ... more

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