Happy Birthday, America (Independence Day)

from by The Hopper Brothers

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Few people realize that the original Declaration of Independence was written on the lid of a pizza box.


Old King George
Wanted to keep us down
By taxing the tea,
By taxing the booze.

Peaceful means
Had only brought prolonged strife.
They sold all our cotton.
The stamp act was rotten,
As was the Massacre in Boston.


On July fourth, seventeen hundred and seventy six, a gaggle of transvestites gathered in Philadelphia’s Independence Hall, also known as Uncle Jubel’s house of pancakes and Funtime Bordello, so that they could sign the Declaration of Independence.

By the fire
Sat the man on the two dollar bill
Penning self-evident truths
And banging his slaves.

He wrote “All men
Have certain unalienable rights”
Except for the blacks,
The gays, and the broads,
And a few other groups.


The Declaration of Independence would spell out in no uncertain terms that all men should be free to pursue life, liberty, and happiness, and talk unlimited on any calling circle they chose. It’s about freedom! It’s about choice! It’s about allowing huge corporations to merge into domineering oligopolies which, unfettered, could crush competition and force consumers to abide by their every self-serving whim in the hopes that they’d be too distracted by MTV’s slate of reality programming to notice. Happy Independence Day, America.


from The Hoppers' Holiday Classics, released April 28, 2013
Benny Hopper: lead vocals
Martin Hopper: guitar
Kurt the Sock: bass
Benevenstanciano: drums
Skeets La Fleur: piano
The Harper Chambliss Quartet: horns
John Wayne (not the actor): strings



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The Hopper Brothers Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Hey, folks!We're Benny & Martin Hopper, The Hopper Brothers: Family Friendly Fun for Fun With Your Family and Friends! We grew up in Glenside, PA under the watchful glass-eye of our Grandma. We like music, birds, bums and little wooden models that you glue together. Once Benny swallowed a quarter. Also, Martin started a Fish Hospital (a hospital for fish), but no fish sought treatment. ... more

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